James* is a doctoral researcher doing a funded, full-time, online PhD via the traditional route. Here is their story in their own words.

*James chose their own pseudonym

I think the impact on my wellbeing has been positive. There’s definitely some negatives, but I think for the most part, it’s been quite positive because of my own life experiences. Going from working in a frontline, really intense job, to now studying and doing it online, there’s now less pressure on my time.  But I think then that also comes with negatives because when I have no place to be, it becomes like I don’t have to get dressed or bathe or make myself look a kind of way. So, I think there are some equal positives and negatives.

I think for me personally, I don’t need the pressure of other people in a place to get work done. I’m quite self-motivated. But there are definitely days when I don’t do a lot of stuff because I can sit on the sofa and scroll on TikTok, which you can’t really do if you’re in a formal learning environment. But then, saying that, I think sometimes the peer pressure is good to help you be motivated and work. I have also been able to create that community with my friends who work from home, and because we’re all doing completely different things, there isn’t any competitiveness between us.

I think sometimes with other students and people who are doing the same course, there is a comparison. When I’ve spoken to peers on my course, it’s made me feel more pressured, because they’re like, ‘I’ve done this thing’ or ‘I’ve got my ethics approved’, and I’m like ‘I haven’t, oh, God, does that mean I’m really behind?’. I think also because a PhD is so solo, no one else is doing your topic. So, I can’t talk to other people about it. I’m quite fortunate because a couple of my friends have done PhDs. I have them to bounce off, they’ve done theirs, and they’re not judging in the same way that other students might be. There have been a couple of postgraduate events that would have been nice to go to. But I don’t know if I would want to do an online social event. That wouldn’t really be my vibe.

But it can still be a bit lonely. I think that’s the nature of PhD research. You get stuck in a really tiny part of the academic world. You’re so focused on something. There have been times when a couple of days go past, and you don’t actually speak to anyone. But I do try to plan other stuff in the day. I need to go out of the house. I need to socialise with people. Beyond just saying hello in the supermarket, you need to actually like see a person, but I’m quite good at doing that. And I have a giant dog. I have to take her outside multiple times a day, and I have lots of conversations about my dog with strangers. I think if I didn’t have a dog this would be harder because it forces you to get up and get out in the morning and I think if I didn’t have that I would maybe go to bed at 4 a.m. because it’s fun.

I try to have a routine, and be boundried with my time. In the beginning, I was like, ‘Oh my God, there’s so much you can read that you could just like, you could study forever.’ Once I get into the reading I’m like, well, I guess who needs to like make dinner? I could just do this until 10pm at night. So having a routine helps, but also people in my life that have a routine. My friends and partner have jobs. So, if I want to see them, then I need to see them outside of a 9 to 5. Having other people in my life with a routine forces me to have a routine, which is helpful.

It helps having people who understand what I’m doing. My dad didn’t understand why the PhD takes three and a half years. My girlfriend also doesn’t understand. She’s like, ‘Can’t you just stop now? You’ve got three and a half years, like, why are you worried about what you get done today?’ And it’s like, yeah, obviously there’s no one telling me to carry on doing this, but like I can’t stop. It’s hard when people don’t understand it.

I have a really good relationship with my supervisors, which I feel really grateful for because before I was studying, I was looking on social media about people’s PhD experiences, and a lot were bad, but a lot of those stories felt like they came from having poor relationships with their supervisors and supervisors who were a bit exploitative, and I don’t have that at all. Mine are great. I’ve got ESRC funding and there’s so many things I need to get my supervisor to sign off. It’s a weird parental relationship. I chose this university because of my supervisor, not because of the university programme as such. She’s great and I love her work and we had a really great conversation about it. So, I wasn’t like, wanting to move to the university.

I don’t really interact with other university staff at all. I don’t know why I look at the emails. They’re irrelevant to me. It’s like the door’s being fixed on campus. There were a lot of emails about PhD students losing office space. I found that really interesting because it’s like there’s a sense of ownership over this office space, and I just didn’t know why they need it. Why is there not an email for online researchers and things that you can get involved in? I wonder what provision they made during COVID, and if there’s any of that stuff that they could replicate. I think the university acknowledging the amount of doctoral researchers there are and having communications for them, like they do for the different like on-campus students would be good.

I think all the university systems are pretty good. I didn’t realise I could get all of the Microsoft package for free by being a university student. So some stuff that wasn’t necessarily communicated. I’ve also been able to access a lot of other university libraries and then it feels like you have your own university. But God, it took me ages to try and find out how to do that. But then I don’t know if that’s just my incompetence with technology. You’re so reliant on the technology. I don’t think you really get away from technology. But I think it’s a positive thing. I think all students are staring at a screen all day, regardless of whether you’re in person or not. I was worried about the library and access to books, but you can get them.

My experience is quite positive. I can see how it could be negative and you could feel quite isolated. I just think a PhD is really isolating.

For me, this is such a huge privilege. I can’t believe that I get to do this. Because I’m 35 and for the last 15 years have been like, oh, it’d just be really nice to have a break. And now I’ve got three and a half years break, and I fucking love reading. It’s great. I really like my research. It’s great.

The stressful thing is that the PhD funding money is pittance. But it’s hard to complain about something that you really, really enjoy and that you’re not being forced to do. I think if I was like an undergrad paying 12 grand a year in tuition fees and doing online, I would feel worse.

I think academia is problematic in so many ways, but I also think it’s really important. It’s fun. Everyone should do a PhD. If you like reading and you want a career break, do a PhD. It’s fun.