Alice* is a doctoral researcher in the second part of an online, part-time, structured PhD programme. Here is her story in her own words.

*Alice chose her own pseudonym

On the whole, the PhD has influenced my wellbeing in quite a positive way. Certainly, in terms of having access to a doctoral programme that I want to do without having to be in the same part of the country was certainly one of the influences of why I choose to do the programme. It’s certainly increased my confidence and my self-worth quite a lot.

I found it to be a really supportive programme. But there’s been odd moments of stress and frustration. There was one module in particular that I felt that I didn’t quite understand what was being asked of me and the communication wasn’t particularly clear and it was quite frustrating because you’re not on site and you have to wait for e-mail responses from lecturers and sometimes, they weren’t clear. I think if it had been the sort of situation where you could have just knocked on an office door and asked to have a conversation about it, that might have made things easier. But the frustration has been far outweighed by all the good stuff that I feel that I’ve got out of doing the programme online. The tutors, you know, their comments have been helpful, critical, but in a helpful and not a destructive kind of way. They want to see people kind of progress and achieve things on the programme.

Our cohort has got a WhatsApp group, which I have found incredibly unhelpful. It’s meant to be a supportive thing. But there’s been more than one point where I’ve thought I really don’t need this. It’s people competing with each other, people trying to outsmart one another. And I just thought, I need to just disengage from this because it’s just, it’s making me angry and it’s making me stressed. Although I have to say that those conversations in the WhatsApp group have diminished quite a lot. I think there is a sense that everyone’s very much on their own journey now.

I guess you would think that working online, doing a programme like this, it would be good to have connections. Maybe I’m a bit strange but I’ve found the part of the programme where I am more on my own, easier in terms of there’s fewer distractions, there’s fewer noises, there’s fewer sorts of things chattering in my headspace and I’ve just been able to get on with that. I kind of created my own support from the people that I work with day-to-day, some of them have done their doctorates, they haven’t done them online, but they understand the struggles of doing the research and writing it up and all the rest of it. So, I’ve been able to talk to them. That’s felt like enough.

I think I started off with the first assignment in part one and I thought can I really do this? You know, or am I going to get it back and they’re going to say, ‘nice try, but see you later’ kind of thing. And when that didn’t happen, I did start to think, maybe I can do this. And my confidence has really grown a lot. I find, there’s day-to-day stuff that happens at work, where I find myself talking with a bit more confidence, a bit more authority than I maybe would have done before. I find that I can have conversations with people and think, you know, you’re not any better than me. I think it’s doing the programme that’s given me that confidence and that kind of sense of value, I suppose, and worth.

My supervisor has been absolutely immense and helpful, supportive, encouraging, kind of beyond just the thesis, you know, in terms of kind of thinking about what am I going to do next and where’s my research going to take me and what opportunities might there be and sharing resources that are useful. I think the big thing that my supervisor has pushed me to do or suggested that I do as part of my research is to set up a website for my research, and I would never have thought in a million years that I could do it. So that’s been a good confidence boost, and I look at it sometimes and just think, ‘God, I did that, that’s amazing’ and like just feel better about myself generally.

I don’t tap into any support services at the university or at my own institution. But, you know, because I live quite rurally and I’ve got two dogs and I’ve got a husband and we’ve got a camper van. So, you know, we go away and sort of get out into the fresh air and spend time going for walks and those sorts of things, which is really nice.

I’ve got two Labradors. They’re such love bugs. They’re brilliant. They don’t get flustered or in a flap or worried about little things like we do and I think you can learn a lot from that. But the youngest one is mad as cheese and still a bit wild and just takes up quite a lot of time and attention. I think having them in my office with me means that I have to take a break at regular points in the day to take them outside and let them have a sniff about in the garden and do their business or, you know, take them out for a walk. You have to do those things. Inadvertently, I think in caring for them, it forces you to care for yourself a bit more as well, doesn’t it?

It’s been really important that I’ve got a plan of what I’m going to do after the PhD. So, I’ve got two more research studies that complement the one that I’ve done for my thesis lined up and I started to think about getting ethics for one of those. I’m confident that when this bit ends, it’s kind of not going to be a big…loss and there’s things that I can build on and can keep that momentum going. I’m really invested in what I’m doing for my research, and I think it’s something that can make a real positive difference to other people and that’s really important to me. So, I don’t want to stop. I want to kind of take it to a bit more of a conclusion than just, you know, my thesis and that’s it. And rather than just having a thesis that’s just going to sit in a repository somewhere and nobody’s ever going to read, I want to think about how I can make a real-world difference with what I’m doing. And that kind of is really motivating and that keeps me feeling sort of energised and positive.

I think the programme does as much as it can in terms of bringing people together, because, you know, everyone’s all over the world and there’s a real diversity of people. But I wonder if there’s maybe more that, you know, the university or the student association could do to create more social opportunities online for students who are studying remotely. It’d be nice just to get to know people for who they are in a social sort of setting rather than, in the context of let’s talk about the PhD. But I don’t know how that would necessarily work or, I mean when COVID happened and all of our teaching pivoted online, one of the things that I was really keen to do was to create social spaces for the staff to get together and just have a cup of tea and a blather. And, you know, we did create online spaces where people could just drop in, say hi, connect with people and catch up and, you know, then get on with their day. So, you know, maybe it is possible that something like that could happen. I think it would be a good thing. It’s difficult, I think, but maybe not impossible.

It’s been a positive experience. It’s been on a lot of different levels, kind of academically, in terms of, you know, my own self-esteem and, you know, personal and professional development, and in terms of kind of skills acquisition. I would recommend it to anyone.